Three Elements That Bring out Happiness
Each of person has own personal happiness which is a life-long goal that people want to accomplish trough entire of life. Since every person in the world has own personal outlook, there are countless ways of achieving happiness. And in my personal outlook, there are three elements in three different conditions which can accomplish my happiness.
First, happiness can be achieved through physical workout; challenge of physical limits. In my case, riding a bicycle is in this case. Especially, I love to ride a "fixie", which is one of a kind bicycle, called "fixed gear bicycle". I often ride fixie with my friends, ploughing through a center of the Seoul city. Since the geographical features of Seoul city is full of basin, there are lots of repetitive roads of uphill and downhill. And fixie has just one gear because its chain is fixed with the back wheel, it is extremely hard to riding on the roads of uphill and downhill. Particularly, riding on the roads of uphill is an experience of reaching the limit. But after I tried this kind of challenge, I can feel a sense of accomplishment. And this state of accomplishment can be included in happiness.
And also, happiness can be accomplished by certain emotional state. To me,. existence of girlfriend brings about feelings of safety, trust, tranquility and in this state, I can feel myself happy. In the relation with my girlfriend, she always takes my side in any kind of situations that can make me in a bad mood. When she does like that I can feel great mutual dependence. And sometimes just thought of her makes my heart flutter. Through this kinds of emotional states occurring in the relation between me and my girlfriend, I can find myself in a happiness.
Lastly, achieving happiness can be affected by psychological state like feelings of thrill through some experiences. In my case, it is music. I usually listen to music loudly in my room alone when I am in a bad mood. I only listen electronic dance music because I can feel a thrill when loud beats drop and bounce explosively. Enjoying the beats in a frantic condition, I can be totally lost in music and all the cares and worries that make me in a bad mood disappear clearly. This psychological state can lead to me in a happiness.
Through countless ways, happiness can be achieved. Because each person has own personal outlook and each one has own personal ways to accomplish happiness. Challenge of physical limits, relation with girlfriend and enjoying listening music can be involved in the ways. And it is important to find any ways of achieving like enhancing happiness to improve the quality of life. If there aren't any of elements that can bring out happiness, the entire life will be dry.
From Jisuk Rhee
ReplyDeleteTo Youngkyung Ko
1. The introduction includes a general thesis about the causes and effect:
there are three elements in three different conditions which can accomplish my happiness.
2. Each body paragraph contains a topic sentence defining a specific cause.
- First, happiness can be achieved through physical workout; challenge of physical limits
- And also, happiness can be accomplished by certain emotional state.
- Lastly, achieving happiness can be affected by psychological state like feelings of thrill through some experiences
3. The causes are explained in a logical way.
4. The writier use connectors to show cause and effect
5. The conclusion restates the causes :
Challenge of physical limits, relation with girlfriend and enjoying listening music can be involved in the ways.
Three Elements That Bring out Happiness/ Draft 2
ReplyDeleteEach of person has own personal happiness which is a life-long goal that people want to accomplish trough entire of life. People do competition, make money, struggle to get an honor and so on. All of these behaviors have a common feature that they are all about ways of happiness. Since every person in the world has own personal outlook, there are countless ways of achieving happiness. And in my personal outlook, there are three elements in three different conditions which can accomplish my happiness.
First, happiness can be achieved through physical workout; challenge of physical limits. In my case, riding a bicycle is in this case. Especially, I love to ride a "fixie", which is one of a kind bicycle, called "fixed gear bicycle". I often ride fixie with my friends, ploughing through a center of the Seoul city. Since the geographical features of Seoul city is full of basin, there are lots of repetitive roads of uphill and downhill. And fixie has just one gear because its chain is fixed with the back wheel, it is extremely hard to riding on the roads of uphill and downhill. Particularly, riding on the roads of uphill is an experience of reaching the limit. But after I tried this kind of challenge, I can feel a sense of accomplishment. And this state of accomplishment can be included in happiness.
And also, happiness can be accomplished by certain psychological state. For me,. existence of girlfriend brings about feelings of safety, trust, tranquility and in this state, I can feel happiness. In the relation with my girlfriend, she always takes my side in any kind of situations that can make me in a bad mood. When she does like that I can feel great mutual dependence. And sometimes just thought of her makes my heart flutter. Through this kinds of psychological states occurring in the relation between me and my girlfriend, I can find myself in a happiness.
Lastly, achieving happiness can be affected by emotional state like feelings of thrill through some experiences. In my case, it is music. I usually listen to music loudly in my room alone when I am in a bad mood. I only listen electronic dance music because I can feel a thrill when loud beats drop and bounce explosively. Enjoying the beats in a frantic condition, I can be totally lost in music and all the cares and worries which make me in a bad mood disappear clearly. This emotional state can lead to me in happiness.
Through countless ways, happiness can be achieved. Because each person has own personal outlook and each one has own personal ways to accomplish happiness. Challenge of physical limits, relation with girlfriend and enjoying listening music can be involved in the ways. And it is important to find any ways of achieving life enhancing happiness to improve the quality of life. If there aren't any of elements that can bring out happiness, the entire life will be dry.