Money: it is the most common factor of happiness in today's capitalized market system. People say the more money you have, the happier you are. How do you think about it? Honestly, I never had more than 10 million Won in my bank account so I can't figure the quote is true or not. I've seen many people who are dissatisfied with their life, however, even though they have no problem with family finance. Then what else can lead us to happiness? I found my own answers after deliberate self-questioning: health, achievements, and social activities.
First of all, health is the most important to me as a living creature. Everything you have gained will be end in vain once you lose your life. Remind of people in the Third World countries who are being suffered from illness because of not enough medical service then you will know you are blessed enough. Good health is above wealth.
Even though it is no match for health, achieving your goals can fill your heart with satisfaction. People want to feel triumph from everywhere. For example, success in their career, standing on the summit, or winning a game. These objectives can prove your superiority to others because they are usually accomplished by sharpening your skills or talents so consequently it satisfies your desire for winning. Sometimes it becomes a stimulus to stay alive even when you're going through the worst adversity in your life.
Lastly, getting along with your family, friends, and any people you meet can enrich your life. Aristotle, a famous Greek philosopher, said "Man is by nature a social animal". I don't know why but I've learned through experience that we feel comfortable when we are with familiar and friendly folks. It also empowers you because you unconsciously conceive that there are your supporters and they'll be with you even when you fail.
It is almost impossible to be happy throughout your whole life. If so, I recommend you to make a list of happiness and choose from the top and I can say my top three are keeping fit, striving for success, and keeping up with my companions.
From: Yooli Kang
ReplyDelete1. You are giving 3 elements that would lead to happiness. They are health, accomplishments, and social activities.
2. What I most like about this writing is that I can understand what you are trying to say, and I agree with you. You have a good logic, so I can follow you without any big problem. Also, I think you restated the points you made well paraphrased in the conclusion.
3. I think there are few awkward expressions. For example,
'Remind of people in the Third World countries who are being suffered from illness because of not enough medical service then you will know you are blessed enough.'
I think this sentence would be clearer if you change it to 'Remember the people in the third world...'
Overall, it was a clear writing that gave me lot of things to think about, thanks!:)
Thank you for your advice, miss Kang!
ReplyDelete2nd draft
Money: it is the most common factor of happiness in today’s capitalized market system. People say the more money you have, the happier you are. How do you think about it? Honestly, I never had enough money in my bank account so I can’t figure the quote is true or not. I’ve seen many people who are dissatisfied with their life, however, even though they have no problem with family finance. Then what else can lead us to happiness? I found my own answers after deliberate self-questioning: health, achievements, and social activities.
First of all, health is the most important matter to me as a living creature. Everything you have earned will end in vain once you lose your life. And just think of people in the Third World countries who are being suffered from illness because of not enough medical service. The worst is that even if they are recovered from the sickness somehow, they can’t maintain their physical condition due to severe food shortage! At this point, you may feel you are very blessed. Remember, Good health is above wealth.
Even though it is no match for health, achieving your goals also can fill your heart with satisfaction. It is very natural that we want to succeed in everything. We struggle to get ahead in career, climb a mountain to stand on the summit, and try hard to win a game. Your superiority to others will be proven by achieving these objectives and even if you prefer cooperation over competition, you may content with yourself feeling accomplishment. Sometimes it helps you stay alive even when you go through the worst adversity in your life.
Lastly, get along with your family, friends, and any people you meet to enrich your life. Aristotle, a famous Greek philosopher, said “Man is by nature a social animal”. I don’t know why but I’ve learned through experience that we feel comfortable when we are with familiar and friendly folks. It also encourages you by having you unconsciously conceive that there are your supporters and they’ll be on your side even when you fail.
As I stated above, I believe keeping fit, striving for success, and having good relationship with companions help you find happiness. What’s more important, however, is to find your own way of enjoying your life, not mine. So, please consider thinking about “what does make you happy?” for a day. I promise it will help you.