How to be Happy
How would you feel happiness? When do you feel happiness? When you feel happy, it defers when and where you are. To feel happiness, you need to be on good mood and be with good people. Happiness can be defined as a feeling of comfort, joy or pleasure. I will talk about how to feel happy with 3 reason. Be positive in thinking, don't compare with others and be with good friends. With these attitude, you can be happy all the time.
First thing I would recommend to be happy is to have a positive thinking. Whenever you have a hard time, you will likely to have gloomy or lonely feeling. But, it can also be your chance to improve yourself. Personally, I have one thing in mind that I can learn from anybody. Even if I dislike some people I meet, I tend to learn from them. I can learn from those people what not to do or anything better than me. Whatever the situation you are in, you can learn from there when you have positive thinking. It will be hard to be positive at first. But it will change a lot of your mental health after you change your attitude.
Secondly, comparing with others won't make you happy. Psycologically people get emotion of happiness in comparing with those who are in damage or lower class. But, who you see is most likely to be a person in higher class or success. I envy those who succeeded like others. But what I do is to learn from them. And you might feel happier with other people in risk. But, don't compare with whoever they are and just treat them as they are just like you. When you feel pleasure comparing with others, that feeling don't last long. Try to feel happiness with what you do and how you deal with situations.
Lastly, but not least, when you are with good friends, you feel genuine amusing feeling which is true happiness. You might have a fight or quarrel with good friends. But, with them you can be truly happy. You can be with them without formality and feel comfortness and enjoy the time with them. You don't think negatively or compare with them. As I said in previous lines, since you can be happy with these two attitude, you will feel happy with a good friend.
Feeling of happiness can't be defined as one thing. Also, to feel it can be different from person to person. But, from my experience as a relatively happy person, having a positive thinking, not comparing and being with a good friend is most important to feel happy. Although you might have you own ways to be happy, try to consider my suggestion to be happier.
TO: Jinsu Park
ReplyDeleteFROM: KIM HAYOON
Hi. I think your esssay is well structured. You gave a general thesis about the causes of happiness. You think that having a positive attitude, not comparing with others and being with good friends contribute to happiness.
You have explained the causes in a logical way.
You also restated the thesis in the conclusion, and added a suggestion at the end.
I would suggest you not to use to many 'but's because it is very distracting to
connect two or more sentences with 'but's. (Especially in your second body paragraph.)
In addition, I do not get what you are saying in the very first line of the essay.
"When you feel happy, it defers~"
The meaning is vague.
I think your essay would be much better if you can fix this.
I love your essay. It shows clearly what the basic of happiness is. Especially, your conclusion that start with 'Feeling of happiness can't be defined as one thing. That goes really strong to me that gives all images that reminds your writing. Your opinion about the writing is also very clear. But I in my opinion, your second writing should be better if you change that goes into positive body. Your first and third paragraphs are talking about the how you can be happy but your second graph are talking about it can't be happy and that is little bit wierd. Also their are little type mistakes that you forgot to change. I think that the contents at the second paragraph are not detatched to your writing so you can just make little change on that and that will make your writing more perfect.
ReplyDeleteThis is my second draft
ReplyDeleteHow to be Happy
How would you feel happiness? When do you feel happiness? Being happy defers when and where you are. To feel happy, you need to be in good mood and be with good people. Happiness can be defined as a feeling of comfort, joy or pleasure. I will talk about how to feel happy with 3 reason. Be positive in thinking, don’t compare with others and be with good friends. With these attitude, you can be happy all the time.
First thing I would recommend to do is to have a positive thinking. Whenever you have a hard time, you will likely to be gloomy or lonely. But, it can also be your chance to improve yourself. Personally, I have one thing in mind that I can learn from anybody. Even if I dislike some people I meet, I try to learn from them. I can learn from those people what not to do or anything better than me. Whatever the situation you are in, you can learn from that situation when you have positive thinking. It will be hard to be positive at first. Howerer it will change a lot of your mental health after you change your attitude.
Secondly, do not compare with others to be happy. Psycologically people get emotion of happiness in comparing with those who are in damage or lower class. Yet, who you see is most likely to be a person in higher class or success. I envy those who succeeded like others. However what I do is to learn from them. Even though you feel happy when compare with others who are in damage, it will eventually make you depressed. When you feel pleasure comparing with others, that feeling don’t last long. Try to feel happiness with what you do and how you deal with situations.
Lastly, but not least, when you are with good friends, you feel genuine amusement which is true happiness. You might have a fight or quarrel with good friends. But, with them, you can be truly happy. You can be with them without formality, feel comfortness and enjoy the time by being yourself. You don’t think negatively or compare with them. As I said in previous lines, since you can be happy with these two attitude, you will feel heppier with a good friend.
Feeling of happiness can’t be defined as one thing. Also, to feel it can be different from person to person. From my experience as a relatively happy person, having a positive thinking, not comparing with others and being with a good friend are most important to feel happy. Although you might have you own ways to feel pleasure, try to consider my suggestion to be happier.