The 2nd World War has not done yet.
It is very common in history that one country conquers and takes control of another country by forces. This phenomenon is usually followed by conflict and when the situation gets worse, it becomes a war. I'm pretty sure that most of people in the world have learned the fear of war from basic educational facilities because the results of countless wars in modern age are giving us an important lesson: there are no winners in war. And Korea was not the winner either. Even though Korea was liberated from Japan at the end of World War ll, we're still being suffering from its aftermath; Many of the elderly are living in yearning for their missing family, we pay enormous amount of resources each year to preserve the peace, and citizens are feeling uneasy about provokes from North Korea.
Have you think of being apart from your family for the rest of your life? If it happens to me, I would rather kill myself than live on. It was what really happened to many Koreans when North Korea and South Korea established their own governments in 1948. Even though they were much stronger than I am to live alone for the day when they meet again, their longing for each other won't be satisfied with family reunion events have held only once in a few years.
We also spend a lot of money and human resources to the national defense. The government assigned more than 35 trillion won to the defense budget this year. Of course it cannot be avoided spending taxes for defense budget as Korea is surrounded by strong nations but it could be less if we were not at war. Furthermore, Korea has to waste human resources by putting every male Korean in compulsory military service for about 2 years because of inefficient budget and population. We are giving up freedom to protect freedom.
Lastly, North Korea is keep trying provocative acts. It causes chaos and disorder at our society, especially when reports on casualties are spread by mess media. This insecurity also affects reputation of the nation and profits of domestic companies. For example, the economic term 'Korea discount' is the phenomenon that stock prices of Korean companies be priced lower than their actual values and one of the reasons causing it is the unstable relationship between the two Koreas.
The World War ll left us enormous tasks to be done: split families, ineffective usage of resources, and national insecurity. I know those are frustrating and can't be solved at once, but if we start with easy ones, we can put an end to this unfinished war.
To: KimJonghwa
ReplyDeleteFrom: HAYOON KIM
1.yes, the introduction includes a general thesis about the causes and effect. You explained the three consequences of the World War 2.
2.Each body paragraph contains a topic sentence.
3.yes the causes are explained in a logical way.
4.Yes. You used 'also' 'this causes' 'furthermore'... How about using more connectors in the first body paragraph? Such as 'As a result of a seperate government~'.
5. yes it does.
6. If we start with easy ones, we can put an end to this unfinished war.
fromm: yang da hyun
ReplyDelete1.i don't think there are thesis about the causes and effect
2.yes, each body paragraph contains a topic sentence.
3.yes, the causes are explained in a logical way.
4.Yes. it used connectors often to show ause and effect
5. yes
6. I know those are frustrating and can't be solved at once, but if we start with easy ones, we can put an end to this unfinished war
Thank both of you for giving me those valuable advice :D
ReplyDeleteIt is very common in history that one country conquers and takes control of another country by forces. This phenomenon is usually followed by conflict and when the situation gets worse, it becomes a war. I’m pretty sure that most of people in the world have learned the fear of war from basic educational facilities because the results of countless wars in modern age are giving us an important lesson: there are no winners in war. And Korea was not the winner either. Even though Korea was liberated from Japan at the end of World War ll, we’re still being suffering from its aftermath; many people are still pining for their dispersed family members, the government pays enormous amount of money each year to maintain peace in the Korean peninsula, and Korean citizens are feeling uneasy about provokes from North Korea.
Have you think of being apart from your family for the rest of your life? If it happened to me, I would feel like to give up my life. It was what really happened to many Koreans when North Korea and South Korea established their own governments in 1948 because of an ideological dispute between US and the Soviet Union. Thereafter, the separated families barely had a chance to meet again and it still remains as one of most delicate ethical issues today.
We also spend a lot of money and human resources to the national defense. The government assigned more than 35 trillion won to the defense budget this year. Of course it cannot be avoided spending large portion of the taxes for national defense as Korea is surrounded by threatening nations but it could be less if we were not at war. Furthermore, Korea has to waste human resources by putting every male Korean in compulsory military service for about 2 years because of inefficient budget and population. What an irony it is that we give up freedom to protect freedom.
Lastly, North Korea is keep trying provocative acts. It causes chaos and disorder to our society, especially when reports on casualties are spread by mess media. This insecurity also affects reputation of the nation and profits of domestic companies. For example, the economic term ‘Korea discount’ is the phenomenon that stock prices of Korean companies be priced lower than their actual values and one of the reasons causing it is the unstable relationship between the two Koreas.
The World War ll left us enormous tasks to be done such as reunion of dispersed family members, reducing ineffective usage of resources, and ensuring national insecurity. They seem frustrating and impossible to be solved at once, but if we start with easy ones, I’m sure we can put an end to this unfinished war.