Factors that make your life happy
201300510 KIM HAYOON
There are some people who are always bored, depressed, and unenthusiastic. On the other hand, there are people who are active, joyful and happy every day. What is the difference between these two types of people? Is it because of an economical gap or does luck have to do with it? In my opinion, happiness is determined by three factors; accomplishing one's goals, being who you are, and having support.
One of the factor that leads to happiness is accomplishing one's goals. Some argue that success cannot be classified as an element that leads to happiness. However, it is hard to deny that wanting to succeed is a human nature indeed, and accomplishing goals is a step towards success. A well-managed task gives the person motivation and self-confidence. These feelings act as a positive reinforcement to the person, bringing better performance. Therefore, people feel a sense of happiness when they fulfill what they had aimed for.
Another factor that contributes to happiness is being yourself. It means not comparing yourself with the people around you. Comparing yourself with others is the worst thing you can do, and it only puts you in agony and distress. There is a saying, 'the grass is greener on the other side'. This is true, because people look for what they are deprived of. When I was in high school, I felt miserable looking at my friends receiving better grades, going off to ivy leagues whereas I had to study one more year. However, after I realized that their life had nothing to do with me, I felt joyful.
Lastly, having support can make your life happy. Think about how terrible it would be if you are the only one to fight a combat. If there is nobody around you, it is easier to give up and be devastated. It is the same in life. Having support from friends, family, and lovers can help you find inner peace. Just by knowing that there are people who help and trust you can be a relief. The feeling that somebody is paying attention to you and that you are being recognized results in high self-esteem, which brings happiness as well.
There are many ways to be happy. Happiness cannot be measured by one standard because there are so many causes behind it. However, among those factors, I strongly believe that accomplishing one's goals, being yourself and having support are crucial when it comes to a happy life. If you are not satisfied with your life, it might be because you are missing some of these factors.
Hello This is Jinsu Park from your class.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the writing before I begin my feedback.
1. I think you have enough cause and effect that 3 reason causes happiness in life. So you have enough cause and effect in line.
2. you have topic sentence in every paragraph to help understanding. It was easy to read with topic sentence.
3. In conclusion, you restate 3 reasons. But, what I can suggest is to make a change in writing. Since it was same wording, it was a bit dull when I read a article.
4. You suggest that people can be happier with what you said as a factor. And recommends to others to have a happier life with those factor. And also, you talk about what you said is not all about happy. So it makes better writing by admitting that there are other factors.
Thank you agian for the writing.
From Byungwook Kim 201300476 EIT to Hayoon Kim
ReplyDelete1. Yes the introduction includes all three causes and effects in thesis.
2. All the three body paragraphs contains each of its topic sentence.
3. they are all explained in logical way.
4. yes the writer used connectors to show cause and effect.
5. conclusion is restating the causes so well done.
6. if you are not satisfied with your life, it might be because you are missing some of these factors.
Second Draft, KIM HAYOON
ReplyDeleteFocusing On Yourself
There are some people who are always bored, depressed, and unenthusiastic. On the other hand, there are people who are active, joyful and happy every day. What is the difference between these two types of people? Is it because of an economical gap or is it due to an attractive appearance? In my opinion, real happiness comes from focusing on yourself. To be specific, happiness is determined by three factors; accomplishing one’s goals, being who you are, and having support.
One of the factor that leads to happiness is accomplishing one’s goals. Some argue that success cannot be classified as an element that leads to happiness. However, it is hard to deny that the desire to succeed is a human nature indeed, and accomplishing goals is a step towards success. A well-managed task gives the person motivation and self-confidence. These feelings act as a positive reinforcement to the person, bringing better performance. Therefore, people feel a sense of happiness when they fulfill what they had aimed for.
Another factor that contributes to happiness is being yourself. It means not comparing yourself with the people around you. Comparing yourself with others, whether it is for a good cause or not, is the worst thing you can do, and it only puts you in agony and distress. There is a saying, ‘the grass is greener on the other side’. This is true, because people tend to look for what they are deprived of. When I was in high school, I felt miserable looking at my friends receiving better grades, going off to ivy leagues whereas I had to study one more year. At that time, I did not noticed that such thoughts kept me away from being happy. However, after I realized that my friends’ life had nothing to do with me, I felt joyful.
Lastly, having support can make your life less burdened. Think about how terrible it would be if you are the only one to fight a combat. If there is nobody around you, it is easier to give up and be devastated. In the epic film, ‘The Lord of the Rings’, Frodo could not have destroyed the one ring if it was not for Sam. It was Sam, the supporter, who made it possible for Frodo to finish the long journey. It is the same in life. Having support from friends, family, and lovers can help you find your inner peace. Just by knowing that there are people who help and trust you can be a relief. The feeling that somebody is paying attention to you and that you are being recognized results in high self-esteem, which brings happiness as well.
There are many ways to be happy. Happiness cannot be measured by one standard because there are so many causes behind it. However, among those factors, I strongly believe that successfully completing one’s goals, not caring what others are doing and having someone on your side are crucial when it comes to a happy life. If you are not satisfied with your life, it might be because you are missing some of these factors. Remember, you are the main actor in your life.
FINAL DRAFT
ReplyDeleteFocus on Yourself
201300510 KIM HAYOON
There are some people who are always bored, depressed, and unenthusiastic. On the other hand, there are people who are active, joyful and happy every day. What is the difference between these two types of people? Do you feel happy when you are rich? Would you be happier if you are good looking? In my opinion, real happiness comes from focusing on yourself. You can focus on yourself by accomplishing one’s goals, being who you are, and having support.
One of the factor that leads to happiness is accomplishing one’s goals. Some argue that success cannot be classified as an element that leads to happiness. However, it is hard to deny that the desire to succeed is a human nature indeed, and accomplishing goals is a step towards success. Success here does not mean big accomplishments such as making a profit in a business or being a billionaire. Success can be found in our everyday lives. For example, I own a daily scheduler and keep track of the things I have to do. I write down the things I must complete on that day with a black pen. When I finish the task, I put a red line across it. Of course, there are some times when I cannot complete what is written on the scheduler because of an unexpected event. Then I put a blue checkmark beside it. I feel motivated when I see more red lines than blue checkmarks. It makes me perform better and acts as a positive reinforcement, leading to happiness.
Another factor that contributes to happiness is being yourself. It means not comparing yourself with the people around you. Comparing yourself with others, whether it is for a good cause or not, is the worst thing you can do, and it only puts you in agony and distress. There is a saying, “the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.” This is true, because people tend to look for what they are deprived of. I know this very well from an experience I had when I was in high school. At first, I was super happy because it was my dream school. I was proud of myself because I earned it. However, it did not take long for me to feel miserable. I lost interest in studying because I thought, “What is the use of studying when there are so many others who are good at it?” Grades were everything back then, and I even thought of quitting school. This got worse by the time I graduated, because I saw my friends going off to ivy leagues whereas I had to study one more year. Back then, I did not noticed that such thoughts kept me away from being happy. However, as time passed, I learned to love just the way I am. When I realized that my friends’ life had nothing to do with me, my heart was filled with glee that I have never felt before.
Lastly, having support can make your life less burdened. Think about how terrible it would be if you are the only one to fight a combat. If there is nobody around you, it is easier to give up and be devastated. In the epic film, ‘The Lord of the Rings’, Frodo could not have destroyed the one ring if it was not for Sam. It was Sam, the supporter, who made it possible for Frodo to finish the long journey. It is the same in life. Having support from friends, family, and lovers can help you find your inner peace. Four years ago, I was the leader of the school magic club. We had to prepare for an annual performance at the end of the year. It was already November and finals were just around the corner, and to make matters worse, there was no money left. I literally panicked. Knowing my difficult situation, seniors who were finished with their college entrance exams came every day to help us practice. They helped us buy magic props and we borrowed their clothes for the show. With the help of seniors, the performance was a success.
There are many ways to be happy. Happiness cannot be measured by one standard because there are so many causes behind it. However, among those factors, I strongly believe that successfully completing one’s goals, not caring what others are doing and having someone on your side are crucial when it comes to a happy life. If you are not satisfied with your life, it might be because you are missing some of these factors. Remember, you are the main actor in your life.
ReplyDelete