Where will You Enjoy a Cherry Blossom Festival?
When do you think spring really come? Personally, when cherry blossom starts to bloom, I consider as a spring really starts. My high school had cherry blossom festival at school every year with a firework and a lot of people come and enjoy the spring. There are several famous cherry blossom festivals, such as in Yeouido, Jinhea and Jeju city.
In Jeju city, which is located in southern part of Korea, the festival starts at early April or late March every year. It is called 'Wang Cherry Blossom Festival'. Since their Cherry blossom trees have especially bigger petals, it has a name as a 'Wang' which means King or Big in Korean. If you have a chance to go to Jeju Island in spring, you can enjoy cherry blossom festival earlier than others in Korea.
Also, in Jinhea, where Marine Academy is located, Festival called Gunhang Festival was held for over 50 years. The name of festival is derived from Marine headquarters' location. You can also look around the Marine academy during the Festival. And there are lots of historical sites in Jinhea. So, you might learn about Korean History as well as enjoy the festival itself.
Lastly, but most crowded cherry blossom festival is Yeouido cherry blossom festival. This feast is held in Yeouido Park around the middle of April every year. Since it is located in Seoul, during the feast, colossal number of people come and go to feel the spring. And in Yeouido festival, it is famous for its firework at night. With your friends or family, it will mean more to you.
Even though, I haven't been to any of this festival in my life, I will try to experience one in Yeouido this year. And from now on, I will try to check the differences by festivals to festivals. Since these 3 festival is among most popular, when you think about attending in cherry blossom festival, consider these festival and enjoy the spring with cherry blossom.
From JISUK LEE
ReplyDeleteTo Jinsu Park
1. I guess your thesis statement is:
There are several famous cherry blossom festivals, such as in Yeouido, Jinhea and Jeju city.
2. Let me summarize background information:
Your high school had cherry blossom festival; for you, it means that spring comes.
3. Each paragraph present a different part of the process: The most popular cherry blossom festivals in Korea
4. Each process is organized in a logical sequence:
Cherry blossom festivals of Korea - one in Jeju - one in Jinhea - one in Yeouido - the value of going to cherry blossom festivals
5. I wonder if each of the festivals has its own events, which are different from other ones.
6. You include an recommendation in the conclusion part;
recommendation for going to cherry blossom festivals.
Peer Feedback
ReplyDeleteTo. Jinsu Park / From. SeongHwa Jeong / Festival
1. Thesis statement
Finding out thesis statement was easy. You introduced three different cherry blossom festivals. Maybe the article doesn’t introduce process, you didn’t write the process-meaning statement.
2. Background Information
The sentence that showed your high school had a cherry blossom festival.
3. As I said I cannot find the process about the festivals. However each paragraph has three different festivals’ characteristics.
4. One sequence that I could find was the location. You started with Jeju island and ended with Yeouido. I think this is a far-close explanation which definitely contains sequence.
5. Your introducing was helpful to remember the festivals. One thing I wonder that why didn’t you mention the date of Gunhang Festival. I understand the festivals’ dates are fluid, but if you wrote brief date of Gunhang Festival like as the other two festivals, it would be more helpful.
6. I can see the recommendation from your conclusion.
Here's My second draft. Upolading just in case
ReplyDeleteWhere will You Enjoy a Cherry Blossom Festival?
When do you think spring really come? Personally, when cherry blossom starts to bloom, I consider as spring really starts. My high school had cherry blossom festival at school every year with a firework and a lot of people came and enjoyed the spring with Cherry Blossom. I haven’t been to other Cherry Blossom Festivals. So, from now on, I will talk about the most famous Festival in Korea. From South to North, there are several famous cherry blossom festivals, such as in Yeouido, Jinhea and Jeju city.
In Jeju city, which is located in southern part of Korea, the festival starts at early April or late March every year. It is called ‘Wang Cherry Blossom Festival’. Since their Cherry blossom trees have especially bigger petals, it has a name as a ‘Wang’ which means King or Big in Korean. When you have a chance to go to Jeju Island in spring, you can enjoy cherry blossom festival earlier than others in Korea.
Also, in Jinhea, where Marine Academy is located, Festival called Gunhang Festival was held for over 50 years around late March or early April. The name of festival is derived from Marine headquarters’ location. Since, the festival is held around Marine Academy, you can also look around the Marine academy during the Festival. And there are lots of historical sites in Jinhea. Therefore, you might learn about Korean History as well as enjoy the festival itself.
Lastly, but most crowded cherry blossom festival is Yeouido cherry blossom festival. This feast is held in Yeouido Park around the middle of April every year. Since it is located in Seoul, during the feast, colossal number of people come and go to feel the spring. And in Yeouido festival, it is famous for its firework at night. With your friends or family, it will mean more to you.
Even though, I haven’t been to any of this festival in my life, I will try to experience one in Yeouido this year. And from now on, I will try to check the differences from festivals to festivals. Since these 3 festivals are the most popular one, when you think about attending in cherry blossom festival, consider these festivals and enjoy the spring with cherry blossom.